conflicted mood

i shouldnt have access here right now as im working.
half of the morning im in a super duder good mood with dance injected in my blood making me high and wanna dance bout. i supposed that have something to do with my high intake of chocolates for breakfast. u guys should know by now that im addicted to sugary baby and i can get mad just to lay my hand on a bar of chocolate.
and right now, im in a super low mood.
yesh, im having a conflicted mood right now.
just like the waves are changing tides, from high to low.
just like smoking an overdose of pot and Ks that get you high and when the utpoia rejects you, you started feeling worst and worst like some sort of fantasy turning into nightmare with the worst expected outcome that you have been running from, and when the heart started beating fast telliing you it's getting out of contorl, you started to feel pain beyond the words and the air that you cant see yet wanna catch hold of it and stop it from moving.
you know you cant and it's worst than the ecstasy feeling that you can ever get.
just couldnt stop the feeling from getting worst.
as it feels that it might hit the pit soon.
and what's worst is the unknown tsunami feeling that you know you cant handle.
it's getting horribly sickening. damn it.
fact is, im running out of my ecstasy and i need more sugar baby.



stray: things that you cant control; the heart from beating.